Good morning Benchwarmers !! Hows ya ?
Hey dont give me that "chal-raha-hai-yaar"-look. You aint doin' shit homie !! BS your girlfriend with this kindda crap that you're so freakin busy that you cant even pick-up her calls or reply to her texts, but dont BS ME.
I know what you do every morning ... you reach office late, you check the presence of your eye-candies, you switch on you system, you say hi to your neighbors, you tell the story of a magnificently beautiful booty you saw this morning on your way to work, you abuse your HR for not recruiting one of those, you check mails, you twit, you text a girl(not your own gal...it's someone else's gal)whom you've met recently, then you check some websites(e.g wikipedia for gk,moneycontrol for money, indiaeveryday for gaming n stuffs etc) , you go and meet your boss to let him know that you're workin' on some incredibly awesome shit which is way betta' than what's his other dawgs are doin', you go for fags with your boys, you come back you repeat the above mentioned things for one more time and then you go for lunch then again you repeat the above mentioned things another two times then you go home....so that's your story...surprised !! so see how I know ?I aint spyin' cuz I aint your wife , I know how it goes 'cuz it's pretty much same for everybody dude...we all are on the same side, so let's work as a TEAM :P .
So far whatever I wrote is pretty much stale like the bread you ate in your sandwich this morning. So wassup ? Wat's new ? Wat's fresh ? ..... well well well... here's something fresh for ya, fresh from this morning....
There's a girl in our office . . . (you must be thinking .... "again 'there's a girl in our office..'-story Adi ?"... I know ..but what can I do :-( ... I am just attracted to all 'you know what I mean ;-)' girls.... cant help.)
Hod on!! Aint you sittin on the edge of your seat? Why your eyes are so wide open? I aint Tendulkar who's scoring a double ton here .. then what has stimulated your nerves all of a sudden that you are so awake ?...wait a sec...lemmi think....umm.....
gotcha' ass-****, there I wrote "THERE'S A GIRL IN OUR OFFICE..." which gives you the following FAQs.....
1.In your office ? :o
2.Are you serious ? :o
3.Really ? :o
4.Watchu sayin' Adi ? :o
5.Is it true ? :P
6.Tu compromise to nahi kar raha hai na? :-s
7.What's her name? :-D
8.Howz her junk ? ;-)
9. Is she on Facebook? :P
10. If you're not interested can you pass it on ? :-/
answers
1.Yes
2.Yo !
3. hell Yea!
4. :-)
5. :P
6. I dunno' it's been almost 4 months in South India
7. Dunno'
8. Dunno' I mean...Didnt check her out like that ... :-s
9. No clue
10. No Ass-**** find one on your own loser!!
Well she's pretty I guess. Cmon I never said the count is zero in my office. She's not a babe or something, but some good features she's got. Maybe you wont find those features appealing every morning, waise dekha jaaye to ... sometimes you even find your girlfriend more beautiful than others' right? So its like that...
I saw her before and she also saw me, as I checked her out before she also did one of her versions 'cuz I saw her doin that.
Today we had to reach office a li'l early as we had a client visit. It's not that I had to show some moves or clown-stuffs in front our client but still I had to be on time 'cuz we got a notification mail yesterday which told us what are the things that are expected out of us on a client-visit day. he he he ... look at me .. I am blogging here and there my client thinks that we're doing wonders to make their business run efficiently....bloody american fools... :P khik-khik-khikz
Though I should have reached office before 8:30 but I was 15 minutes late(only). If I werent late I wouldnt have been writing this blog now. Cuz when I got down from the auto-rickshaw in front of my office this morning, she got down from the bus there. I noticed her when I was on the staircase of the foot-over-bridge to go to the other side of the road. She was a little behind, I wanted to walk side by side to her so I reduced my pace, took out my cell-phone, started pretending like I'm doin some shit on my phone. within few seconds we both were climbing the stairs side by side. I was checking her out, like what's she's wearing, how did she do the styling with her hair etc. Now while getting down from the over-bridge on the way-down staircase suddenly she slipped ! I took fraction of a second to respond to give her a hand to ask "are you okay?"
Thank God her fall was not that severe, nothing happened, not a single scratch. Wondering why ? Sochtey raho.... nothing happened 'cuz Captain Awesome caught her. Just imagine like it was video-shot from a mid-90's backstreetboys music video where the boy sings to the girl "I'll not eva' let you down my love"..."Everytime you fall, I'll come around". or "whenver you need a hand You'll find me baby" oohh laa laa laaa..trim lala lala trim trim...lala
She was red by then as it's really embarrassing, not only for a girl but for everybody. You remember when you slipped infront of all the girls when you were in class 8? How was it ? Was it funny ? Ya it was funny to everybody except you.
"You sure that you're okay?" I asked again, realizing asking her name would be a bad questions at that moment. "I'm fine thanks" she said. The we both walked inside the office building. Both are quiet. Me thinkin what to say, should I say something funny? should I pass a comment like "looks like your feet are too big for the footboard of the staircases...hehehe"? or should I just keep shut as she's embarrassed already.
We approached the elevator lobby. The elevator came. I was still thinking what to say...at least I should say something now to keep an open end for a conversation which we can possibly have when we meet next time. Eelvator was crowded. So whatever I had to say, I had to be careful and watchful about my words so that other people dont guess what happened to her before. Cuz that would be more embarrassing to her right? See ... so much I care for her already :P
"Your feet okay ? have you twisted anything ? You could use some ice on your foot" I whispered to her finally to make sure other people dont get all of my words cuz when you're inside an elevator human ears become very sensitive and you dont want some ass-**** giggling "fikz" on something related to you.
"I am absolutely fine and thanks once again" she said
"You're welcome"
We reached 6th floor by then, while walking outta lift she smiled at me and said "See you around" and I blinked my eyes with a smile which means "sure we'll "..
This "see you around" means, I have just become visible to her. Now we can take it forward.... :D look at my smile...holy cow !!
ya it's just a good day, cuz this was supposed to happen. Otherwise why would fall from the stairs which she takes every day to cross the road. She did that million times before but nothing like this happened ever. But why today?
It happened cuz it was supposed to happen. I was supposed to hold her hand for the first time and I was supposed to be visible and It all happened for me and she FELL FOR ME
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Elevator Symphonies
When Arko moved to their new apartment about a year ago I paid a visit to his place to check the complete thing. There are lot of things that I liked about his place but first thing which I told him that 'I like about your apartment is ... '...Elevators aka Lifts. Strange!! right ? How could someone like elevators out of everything for God's sake !!
You must be picturing a gorgeous, flashy, well-equiped, high-tech and spacious elevator, right? and I know where you're going with that imagination....you must be fantasizing about having 'Elevator-Sex' in one of those someday with a smokin hot chick/awesome dude[like me;-)] (you dont care whether he'/she's a hooker/pimp or your best friend's girlfriend/boyfriend ) ... HOLD YOUR HORSES big boy/dirty girl ... the elevator I'm refering here is not even close to what you've visualized already !!
It has got smooth collapsible gates, hardly 4/5 can stand inside it, I dont remember whether it has got a fan or not and I'm sure most of the modern high-tech security stuffs aint there. But the reason because of which I like the elevator is ... She's fast. She's fast like a bitch ... no no !! let me write bitch in John Travolta style ..... She's fast like a BIAAATCHHH.
Elevators being fast is very very important. Cuz everything goes wrong at the last moment. Every morning when you're waiting at the lobby to catch the elevator, to you every freakin' second is important and you know you're already late and you're brainstorming hudreds of reasons to give as an excuse to your manager 'cuz you hate when he gives a - "there you are . . . once again you're late ... what's your excuse today ... Punk!! "-look. You dont know whether that would go against your yealy appraisal or not and you make sure one day when you reach office before your manager does, you make yourself visible to him so he considers atleast that day when you kindda made it on time and you're not THAAAAT late-latif.
Isn't it irritating when elevators stop at every floor? Well, there are lot of things you dont like about elevators. I can list a few but let me tell you an incident from my days in HSBC
Those days whenever I used to tell people that I work for HSBC people used to envy me. Well, that was not because I was an awesomely eligible candidate who does cool stuffs in a company like HSBC or HSBC is one of the best companies that you can work for....it was because of the chicks. Over there you'd see bunch of good-looking, beautiful, hot, smoking-hot, smokingly-hotter and smokingly hottest girls on the floors. It's not that everybody was like angels from eden or something. 'You know what I mean ;-('-category people were there as well but lots amongst 'You know what I mean :-(' category used be well-groomed, I mean you'd not feel very embarassed if you bump onto someone and and she says Hi to you, during your week-end outing at some mall with your super-cool friends. If you've already got what I'm trying to convey here and feeling jealous of me for me having an awesome time surrounded by chicks at some point of time in my life, then I suggest you rather buy a t-shirt which says,"99% women are beautiful and the 1% are in my office". I'm sure that'd suit you. Well honestly speaking I have ordered one of those online already through Tantra t-shirt website. So stop giving me that jealous look and consider me as one of you now.
I used to hit on a lot over there. I mean c'mon it's a natural thing, you're in your early twenties, looking for hook-up possibilties in every possible ways and you're working in a babes'-land and then if you're not hitting on chicks that would make you gay...ya you heard me ... I said... "THAT WILL MAKE YOU A F***ing GAY". So act, think and read this blog like a normal hetero-sexual Homo Sapiens Sapiens.
So as I was saying that used to hit on a lot, I didnt used to know most of 'em. I mean tried a lot to find out their names from company's employee directory, I-cards, cubicle name-boards but at times you will miss out on a lot....it's normal right ? It's not that I was not desperate or soemthing but sometimes I used to fail as well and I used to console myself by saying that "failures are the pillars of my success"
So there was one girl ... I mean one amongst many whom I used to like a lot. I never could find out her name but I still remember her because of her elegant look. She used wear nice make-ups (She looked way better without make-ups) which were never overworked, her dress sense was amazing. Whatever she used to wear were perfect on her, as if those out-fits were exclusively made for her. Nice colors she used to bring to office and to my life. Ya I can still go ga-ga over some romantic song while thinking of her. She was pretty. She had some personality which you'd admire. She was someone whom you can take you to your mom. Ass is not the first thing that would attract you about her. I guess you got my point by now ... right ?
I'm sure she never thought the things which I thought or still think about her. May be she saw me once in a while on the floors, at cafetaria, during Rewards n Recognitions ceremonies or may be in the elevators...the elevators...oh! shit...I was talking about elevator symphonies right? Again I got diverted from the topic. Lol. These girls are treating me with some kindda remote control and I keep diverting from everything in my life.
a'ite Back to the point, one day me and my buddy cum coleague(now ex) Sammy were coming back to the floor after our first break. We were already late by about 5 minutes. Over there taking breaks and coming back from breaks on time were very important 'cuz one of our SLA(Service Level Agreement) was 'Schedule Adherence'. Everyday our manager Mayur aka Maky-the boss used to scold us but he also used understand that it's really difficult to have tea, giving bites to some street-side snacks, checking out girls outside office while smoking cigerette and venting out frustration about yout job are hell lot of works to be done within 15 minutes time. So sometimes he used to let us go with mild scolding, sometimes not.
As we were already late, we were literally running through the corridor. As we used to deal with lot of sensitive customer information and classified data, security over there is like White House. In order to reach elevator lobby at the ground floor, you have swipe your card atleast 6 times. Anyway we were late and all those swipes were taking some more time. Me and Sammy were speculating that how can we flee this time as we were late from breaks on ... I dunno know how many days in total. "Mayur would'nt spare us today" said Sammy."I know dude ... every f***ing day we're f***ing late", I replied. We hurried through the corridor and finally reached the elevator-lobby and pressed the buttons.
Well that'another funny thing about human beings is that when we're in hurry we press the elevator buttons more than once as if the stupid elevator would understand our urgency and would come down fast like a chariot. Same shit we do with remote controls when the battery in it is almost dead, with calling bells when you have to take a huge dump and your mom is taking some time to answer the door etc.
Finally the Elevator came, none was in it and we rushed inside and pressed the buttons to close the doors, suddenly we felt suffocated. Well it's not because of the reason from the previous blog. Actually the previous boarder of that lift did and act of flatuence (Definition : Flatuence is the expulsion through the rectum of a mixture of gases that are byproducts of the digestion process of mammals and other animals. Courtesy-Wikipedia) well in English what I meant is ... someone farted inside the elevator before it came to us and that SOAB might had got down on the previous floor. I abused that person as SOAB because of the situation which I am gonna narrate now. Dont think that I call every farter a SOAB, in that case I'm also a SOAB. Everybody farts right ? So everybody cant be a SOAB c'mon. But that person was a SOAB. Wanna know why ? Well let me tell you the rest of the story . . .
Me and Sammy were looking at each other and laughing and cursing the guy who did it and were thinking what to do ? "We should take another lift yaar...this is unbearable", said Sammy. I said "We are already late dude, hold your breathe for 15 seconds and then we'll be fine" . The following discussion took place between on our way up for the next 10-15 seconds.
-"Do you think it's a KFC fart" ? (Definition : KFC Fart is a fart which is followed by a bucket of chicken n lemonade at KFC)
-"I dont know man, and I dont wanna know"
-"Well then what it could be ? Daal chawal fart ?"
-How the f*** I'm supposed to know what kindda fart is this, I dint do it cuz...I was with you the whole time dude"
-Ya but still...I guess...this is like .Pizza fart ... cuz I created soemthing similar once I had Dominos
-Shut the fuck up Sammy..who the f*** are you ... 'Fart-Detective'??
.. oh!! shitt....motha' f***er..I cant stand this pain Adi ... if I die now, tell Sonia that I really loved her and I lied to her when ....
In the midst of Sammy's never-disclosed-confession directed to Sonia, the elevator door opened. What we saw after that was really shocking for us. It was that girl, whom I was talking about before. What a bad mother-f***ing co-incidence, she was waiting for the same lift which was filled with fart smell, the fart smell which was not because of something me or Sammy responsible for".
It was embarrassing my friends. We walked out of the elevator with our heads down. I was just thinking what she'd have thought of us. ....holy f***ing shit ... I hate elevators ...
We could not speak to each other for next 10 seconds then I broke the silence " Just imagine what she'd think of us man...shit yaar!!"
"ya Adi that was so embarrassing, well she'll think it's me, not you, I mean you dont look like a guy who can fart like that ... so bad yaar "
"ya ass****, as if your fart smell is like trade-marked, everyone knows how Sammy's fart smells, I would not ever be able to look at her again yaar, I used to hit on her a lot"
Then the advice that Sammy gave me , was one of the worst advices given to me ever " Adi you can prove it wrong yaar...just go tell her that ..."IT WASNT ME" ..I mean tell her that it was not you who farted , she'll understand yaar "
After lsitening to the stupidest adivce we both laughed our asses out cuz he also understood what a lame idea it was. Suddenly Maky appeared in front of us and started scolding us for being late and we both were laughing like two shameless jack-asses which pissed-off Maky more.
The whole day I could not work properly, was feeling so embarassed and that's also because of something which I did not do. Fuck you ... whoever that was, I dont care, I dont care whether it was my Vice President or not....Because of that situation I could never look at her again during the rest of my days in HSBC.
You must be picturing a gorgeous, flashy, well-equiped, high-tech and spacious elevator, right? and I know where you're going with that imagination....you must be fantasizing about having 'Elevator-Sex' in one of those someday with a smokin hot chick/awesome dude[like me;-)] (you dont care whether he'/she's a hooker/pimp or your best friend's girlfriend/boyfriend ) ... HOLD YOUR HORSES big boy/dirty girl ... the elevator I'm refering here is not even close to what you've visualized already !!
It has got smooth collapsible gates, hardly 4/5 can stand inside it, I dont remember whether it has got a fan or not and I'm sure most of the modern high-tech security stuffs aint there. But the reason because of which I like the elevator is ... She's fast. She's fast like a bitch ... no no !! let me write bitch in John Travolta style ..... She's fast like a BIAAATCHHH.
Elevators being fast is very very important. Cuz everything goes wrong at the last moment. Every morning when you're waiting at the lobby to catch the elevator, to you every freakin' second is important and you know you're already late and you're brainstorming hudreds of reasons to give as an excuse to your manager 'cuz you hate when he gives a - "there you are . . . once again you're late ... what's your excuse today ... Punk!! "-look. You dont know whether that would go against your yealy appraisal or not and you make sure one day when you reach office before your manager does, you make yourself visible to him so he considers atleast that day when you kindda made it on time and you're not THAAAAT late-latif.
Isn't it irritating when elevators stop at every floor? Well, there are lot of things you dont like about elevators. I can list a few but let me tell you an incident from my days in HSBC
Those days whenever I used to tell people that I work for HSBC people used to envy me. Well, that was not because I was an awesomely eligible candidate who does cool stuffs in a company like HSBC or HSBC is one of the best companies that you can work for....it was because of the chicks. Over there you'd see bunch of good-looking, beautiful, hot, smoking-hot, smokingly-hotter and smokingly hottest girls on the floors. It's not that everybody was like angels from eden or something. 'You know what I mean ;-('-category people were there as well but lots amongst 'You know what I mean :-(' category used be well-groomed, I mean you'd not feel very embarassed if you bump onto someone and and she says Hi to you, during your week-end outing at some mall with your super-cool friends. If you've already got what I'm trying to convey here and feeling jealous of me for me having an awesome time surrounded by chicks at some point of time in my life, then I suggest you rather buy a t-shirt which says,"99% women are beautiful and the 1% are in my office". I'm sure that'd suit you. Well honestly speaking I have ordered one of those online already through Tantra t-shirt website. So stop giving me that jealous look and consider me as one of you now.
I used to hit on a lot over there. I mean c'mon it's a natural thing, you're in your early twenties, looking for hook-up possibilties in every possible ways and you're working in a babes'-land and then if you're not hitting on chicks that would make you gay...ya you heard me ... I said... "THAT WILL MAKE YOU A F***ing GAY". So act, think and read this blog like a normal hetero-sexual Homo Sapiens Sapiens.
So as I was saying that used to hit on a lot, I didnt used to know most of 'em. I mean tried a lot to find out their names from company's employee directory, I-cards, cubicle name-boards but at times you will miss out on a lot....it's normal right ? It's not that I was not desperate or soemthing but sometimes I used to fail as well and I used to console myself by saying that "failures are the pillars of my success"
So there was one girl ... I mean one amongst many whom I used to like a lot. I never could find out her name but I still remember her because of her elegant look. She used wear nice make-ups (She looked way better without make-ups) which were never overworked, her dress sense was amazing. Whatever she used to wear were perfect on her, as if those out-fits were exclusively made for her. Nice colors she used to bring to office and to my life. Ya I can still go ga-ga over some romantic song while thinking of her. She was pretty. She had some personality which you'd admire. She was someone whom you can take you to your mom. Ass is not the first thing that would attract you about her. I guess you got my point by now ... right ?
I'm sure she never thought the things which I thought or still think about her. May be she saw me once in a while on the floors, at cafetaria, during Rewards n Recognitions ceremonies or may be in the elevators...the elevators...oh! shit...I was talking about elevator symphonies right? Again I got diverted from the topic. Lol. These girls are treating me with some kindda remote control and I keep diverting from everything in my life.
a'ite Back to the point, one day me and my buddy cum coleague(now ex) Sammy were coming back to the floor after our first break. We were already late by about 5 minutes. Over there taking breaks and coming back from breaks on time were very important 'cuz one of our SLA(Service Level Agreement) was 'Schedule Adherence'. Everyday our manager Mayur aka Maky-the boss used to scold us but he also used understand that it's really difficult to have tea, giving bites to some street-side snacks, checking out girls outside office while smoking cigerette and venting out frustration about yout job are hell lot of works to be done within 15 minutes time. So sometimes he used to let us go with mild scolding, sometimes not.
As we were already late, we were literally running through the corridor. As we used to deal with lot of sensitive customer information and classified data, security over there is like White House. In order to reach elevator lobby at the ground floor, you have swipe your card atleast 6 times. Anyway we were late and all those swipes were taking some more time. Me and Sammy were speculating that how can we flee this time as we were late from breaks on ... I dunno know how many days in total. "Mayur would'nt spare us today" said Sammy."I know dude ... every f***ing day we're f***ing late", I replied. We hurried through the corridor and finally reached the elevator-lobby and pressed the buttons.
Well that'another funny thing about human beings is that when we're in hurry we press the elevator buttons more than once as if the stupid elevator would understand our urgency and would come down fast like a chariot. Same shit we do with remote controls when the battery in it is almost dead, with calling bells when you have to take a huge dump and your mom is taking some time to answer the door etc.
Finally the Elevator came, none was in it and we rushed inside and pressed the buttons to close the doors, suddenly we felt suffocated. Well it's not because of the reason from the previous blog. Actually the previous boarder of that lift did and act of flatuence (Definition : Flatuence is the expulsion through the rectum of a mixture of gases that are byproducts of the digestion process of mammals and other animals. Courtesy-Wikipedia) well in English what I meant is ... someone farted inside the elevator before it came to us and that SOAB might had got down on the previous floor. I abused that person as SOAB because of the situation which I am gonna narrate now. Dont think that I call every farter a SOAB, in that case I'm also a SOAB. Everybody farts right ? So everybody cant be a SOAB c'mon. But that person was a SOAB. Wanna know why ? Well let me tell you the rest of the story . . .
Me and Sammy were looking at each other and laughing and cursing the guy who did it and were thinking what to do ? "We should take another lift yaar...this is unbearable", said Sammy. I said "We are already late dude, hold your breathe for 15 seconds and then we'll be fine" . The following discussion took place between on our way up for the next 10-15 seconds.
-"Do you think it's a KFC fart" ? (Definition : KFC Fart is a fart which is followed by a bucket of chicken n lemonade at KFC)
-"I dont know man, and I dont wanna know"
-"Well then what it could be ? Daal chawal fart ?"
-How the f*** I'm supposed to know what kindda fart is this, I dint do it cuz...I was with you the whole time dude"
-Ya but still...I guess...this is like .Pizza fart ... cuz I created soemthing similar once I had Dominos
-Shut the fuck up Sammy..who the f*** are you ... 'Fart-Detective'??
.. oh!! shitt....motha' f***er..I cant stand this pain Adi ... if I die now, tell Sonia that I really loved her and I lied to her when ....
In the midst of Sammy's never-disclosed-confession directed to Sonia, the elevator door opened. What we saw after that was really shocking for us. It was that girl, whom I was talking about before. What a bad mother-f***ing co-incidence, she was waiting for the same lift which was filled with fart smell, the fart smell which was not because of something me or Sammy responsible for".
It was embarrassing my friends. We walked out of the elevator with our heads down. I was just thinking what she'd have thought of us. ....holy f***ing shit ... I hate elevators ...
We could not speak to each other for next 10 seconds then I broke the silence " Just imagine what she'd think of us man...shit yaar!!"
"ya Adi that was so embarrassing, well she'll think it's me, not you, I mean you dont look like a guy who can fart like that ... so bad yaar "
"ya ass****, as if your fart smell is like trade-marked, everyone knows how Sammy's fart smells, I would not ever be able to look at her again yaar, I used to hit on her a lot"
Then the advice that Sammy gave me , was one of the worst advices given to me ever " Adi you can prove it wrong yaar...just go tell her that ..."IT WASNT ME" ..I mean tell her that it was not you who farted , she'll understand yaar "
After lsitening to the stupidest adivce we both laughed our asses out cuz he also understood what a lame idea it was. Suddenly Maky appeared in front of us and started scolding us for being late and we both were laughing like two shameless jack-asses which pissed-off Maky more.
The whole day I could not work properly, was feeling so embarassed and that's also because of something which I did not do. Fuck you ... whoever that was, I dont care, I dont care whether it was my Vice President or not....Because of that situation I could never look at her again during the rest of my days in HSBC.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Saambar Salsa : 30 Smothering Seconds
These days I dont drink soft drinks anymore. Somehow I have developed an apathy towards it. It's not that I've totally quit it but what I mean to say is, I dont drink as much as I used to. Before leaving Kolkata my dad said "Kerala is the place for coconut, drink coconut water instead of water...it's good for health...lol". Just like all the other advices I nodded my head with agreement to that as well. So many things your parents tell u to do since the day they understood that you can respond to their directions to some extent. I wish I could invent a way so I could give a 'I-dont-understand-your-point' look other than being certified as a socially Retarded . That way you could ignore all the BS that you manager gives you at your work , you girlfriend gives you day in and day out, your 'friend' who says he's actually giving a +ve feedback but actually he understood that his way of doing stuffs aint betta' than yours and last but not the least ... your parents.
In Kerala what I found out is that, Green Coconuts are not cheap at all, probably costliest in the whole country. Reason being it's one of their major source income. So they dont cut green coconuts for the water part, they let those hang till they become daddies and can help them produce 'kokonut-oil', with which they can play with the stomachs,noses and hair and what nots of the people from the rest of the world . If you have eva' tasted something made-up of coconut, you'll understand what I'm talkin' about. Even they serve dishes prepared with coconut-oil at resorts !! During a team outing we went to a resort called 'Isola-di-coco' which means Island of coconuts ( so I hope you can understand how desperate Keralites are in holding on to coconuts that they've named a marvellous resort after coco-nuts...yea nuts) where I almost threw up once I took whole dish of chicken wings which I though was something like I had during the early days of my life. But unfortunately the entire plate went to the bin.
The 'gay'-est thing you'd find out is grown-ass men apply coconut oil on their hair. They smell like Coconuts( Cock-o'Nuts) all day long. Can you believe this ? Probably they dont know there are brands like 'All Clear' which produce hair-oil for men as well, like as they dont know who Kishore Kumar is(surprised??....yea...guys....it's true... hardly anyone knows the legend).
During my training days in Trivandrum we used to have our Trainings at GAMA which is located at the basement level minus two in Thejaswini. Did you just notice that I wrote Thejaswini, not Tejaswini :P... Well that's another funny thing about them is that they call me AditHya 'cuz to them 'taw' (as it sounds in the name Tausif )doesnt exist, it's all 'thaw' (as it sounds in Thong...lolz), as they pronounce the letter 'H' as 'HEICH' , the letter 'M' as 'YUM', the letter 'A' as 'yeh' (dosti hum nehi todenge). I guess it's the force or the inertia that comes out from their core because of the total 'South-Indianism'.
Any way, let me tell you the story behind the '30 smothering seconds'. During one my training days I was coming up from -2 level to the ground floor. As you guessed it right that, a lazy ass like me wont ever take the stairs to climb two floors, I pressed the elevator buttons and was waiting.
The sliding doors opened and I saw 6-7 girls/ladies already in there. You must be jealous of me right? Like....''Adi....dude!!! lucky day for ya man...." Even at the worst case scenario one out of seven could be the probability of 'you know what I mean ;-)' but unfortunately It's Kerala so they maintained cent percent success rate in holding on to 'you know what I mean :-('. Anyway with a flat face I entered, the doors closed suddenly I could not breathe!! Everyone inside the lift were stinking collectively as they were portaying some freakin' team-work in suffocating me. Gosh!! I wish I had words to help you re-smell the stale coconut-oil smell which was coming from their hair. I swear to God I was suffocating, I could not breathe in, I was feeling like claustrophobic Robert Langdon from The Da-Vinci Code, who is not on a some kindda' weird symbol-mission. I smoke... so I cant hold on to my breathe for long and I was praying to god to make me suffer less. I told to God, "Dint you have any betta' plan to kill me ? cant you make it quick ? Dont you make me suffer like this for God's I mean your's sake...cmon Dude have mercy...."
The world was like an ultra-motion video clip which was being recorded at 20,000 frames per second. Slowly the elevator reached minus one level as one of those 7 wonders had to get down. Then I got the opportunity to inhale a bit of fresh air and again the doors closed and I was doing a count down untill I reach ground level. Held my breathe again, I hugged myself virtually by saying..."You know you can do it, and you know you are awesome...just another 10 seconds of this pain and soon it'll be over like a Dinosaur or Calamity movie from Hollywood"
Yes my friends it was over, I stood strong, confronted the smell with all of my strength of my lungs and the elevator reached level zero and I came out. I had a smile of a victor on my face. Yess I did it....I survived, inhaled some fresh air and felt the importance of preventing air-pollution. I could breathe freely...and realized, the world is really beautiful and thanked God for two reasons , one for helping me as I made it through and secondly for creating such a 'you know what I mean' planet .
Appendix :
'you know what I mean ;-) '= Beautiful
'you know what I mean :-(' = Opposite of 'you know what I mean ;-) '
In Kerala what I found out is that, Green Coconuts are not cheap at all, probably costliest in the whole country. Reason being it's one of their major source income. So they dont cut green coconuts for the water part, they let those hang till they become daddies and can help them produce 'kokonut-oil', with which they can play with the stomachs,noses and hair and what nots of the people from the rest of the world . If you have eva' tasted something made-up of coconut, you'll understand what I'm talkin' about. Even they serve dishes prepared with coconut-oil at resorts !! During a team outing we went to a resort called 'Isola-di-coco' which means Island of coconuts ( so I hope you can understand how desperate Keralites are in holding on to coconuts that they've named a marvellous resort after coco-nuts...yea nuts) where I almost threw up once I took whole dish of chicken wings which I though was something like I had during the early days of my life. But unfortunately the entire plate went to the bin.
The 'gay'-est thing you'd find out is grown-ass men apply coconut oil on their hair. They smell like Coconuts( Cock-o'Nuts) all day long. Can you believe this ? Probably they dont know there are brands like 'All Clear' which produce hair-oil for men as well, like as they dont know who Kishore Kumar is(surprised??....yea...guys....it's true... hardly anyone knows the legend).
During my training days in Trivandrum we used to have our Trainings at GAMA which is located at the basement level minus two in Thejaswini. Did you just notice that I wrote Thejaswini, not Tejaswini :P... Well that's another funny thing about them is that they call me AditHya 'cuz to them 'taw' (as it sounds in the name Tausif )doesnt exist, it's all 'thaw' (as it sounds in Thong...lolz), as they pronounce the letter 'H' as 'HEICH' , the letter 'M' as 'YUM', the letter 'A' as 'yeh' (dosti hum nehi todenge). I guess it's the force or the inertia that comes out from their core because of the total 'South-Indianism'.
Any way, let me tell you the story behind the '30 smothering seconds'. During one my training days I was coming up from -2 level to the ground floor. As you guessed it right that, a lazy ass like me wont ever take the stairs to climb two floors, I pressed the elevator buttons and was waiting.
The sliding doors opened and I saw 6-7 girls/ladies already in there. You must be jealous of me right? Like....''Adi....dude!!! lucky day for ya man...." Even at the worst case scenario one out of seven could be the probability of 'you know what I mean ;-)' but unfortunately It's Kerala so they maintained cent percent success rate in holding on to 'you know what I mean :-('. Anyway with a flat face I entered, the doors closed suddenly I could not breathe!! Everyone inside the lift were stinking collectively as they were portaying some freakin' team-work in suffocating me. Gosh!! I wish I had words to help you re-smell the stale coconut-oil smell which was coming from their hair. I swear to God I was suffocating, I could not breathe in, I was feeling like claustrophobic Robert Langdon from The Da-Vinci Code, who is not on a some kindda' weird symbol-mission. I smoke... so I cant hold on to my breathe for long and I was praying to god to make me suffer less. I told to God, "Dint you have any betta' plan to kill me ? cant you make it quick ? Dont you make me suffer like this for God's I mean your's sake...cmon Dude have mercy...."
The world was like an ultra-motion video clip which was being recorded at 20,000 frames per second. Slowly the elevator reached minus one level as one of those 7 wonders had to get down. Then I got the opportunity to inhale a bit of fresh air and again the doors closed and I was doing a count down untill I reach ground level. Held my breathe again, I hugged myself virtually by saying..."You know you can do it, and you know you are awesome...just another 10 seconds of this pain and soon it'll be over like a Dinosaur or Calamity movie from Hollywood"
Yes my friends it was over, I stood strong, confronted the smell with all of my strength of my lungs and the elevator reached level zero and I came out. I had a smile of a victor on my face. Yess I did it....I survived, inhaled some fresh air and felt the importance of preventing air-pollution. I could breathe freely...and realized, the world is really beautiful and thanked God for two reasons , one for helping me as I made it through and secondly for creating such a 'you know what I mean' planet .
Appendix :
'you know what I mean ;-) '= Beautiful
'you know what I mean :-(' = Opposite of 'you know what I mean ;-) '
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Saambar Salsa : The 'Avatar 5D' Experience
"Hey Pintu do you have Dhoom" ? asked Ronnie, one of my colonial friend to our local Video parlor owner.
"Ya"
"How's the print?"
"It's clear, you wont confuse Rimi's melons with Esha's" with a wicked smile he said to Ronnie.
"No....if the print is not clear then I'll return the CDs"
"C'mon Ronnie, did you ever get a 'bad hall print' from me?"
While going back to Ronnie's place I asked him " Did you really have to borrow a hall-print movie" ?
He said, "C'mon dude, Hall print gives you the right kindda experience. You feel that you are at theatre but you are actually not , it's a diffrent technology all together"
I said " totally...just imagine how much of money we are saving that way, no conveyance, no pop-corn costs, you pay just 15 bucks where in you'd have paid 115 per tickets" sarcastically.
"ya..that's what. you get 'sostay pushti, full sontushti' (which means,total nutrition at a very low cost but with full satisfaction) and the best part is , you dont have follow the dialogues with patience, just laugh when you hear the audience is laughing"
I recall this conversation with Ronnie which took place 5 years back and there is a reason because of which I mentioned the conversation above. Recently I watched 'Avatar' in 3D. Wasnt it wow ? Yeah It was. Someone asked me about the special effect of the movie, I said it should win oscar in 'Visual Effects' category for 3 consecutive years. I believe you all will agree to what I said. But as far as 'effects are concerned' I have more to add. I'm sure most of you have watched Avatar in 3d but did you actually feel that you are in the jungle during the jungle scenes ? I know you did not the way I did 'cuz I watched the movie at a theatre called 'Shree Padmanabhan' at Trivandrum.
Yes my friends this incident is from my days in Trivandrum, the capital of Kerala, where I spent 2 months, where I had to report for my intial stage of training. Well they call it capital but it's nothing more than a town. Shops are closed within 7.30 in the evening, no malls, no chicks( I mean good lookin')no good theatres, no night life, nothing. During week-ends only recreation is Drinking and you abuse your company, your boss, your team-mates, your ex-girlfriend, your ex-girl friend's present boyfriend et al. lol ... yea you kindda have sea beaches at every signal crossing but for how long can you take the beauty of sea-shores ?
Anyway back to the point...... 'ShreePadmanabhan' is one of the 'coolest'(ya jack-ass they have A.C) theatres in Trivandrum aka Thiruvananthapuram. I dont know how much you spent on your movie tickets but for me I wrapped up everythin within 95 rupees.
Jealous ? Ya you should be . Let me give you a break-up of my expenses. 35 bucks for the movie ticket( amazing isnt it?) woh bhi ... AC hall. They were out of balcony tickets so we had to go for RS and the difference is not much, it's like 10-15 bucks. Dont think that I'm a cheap bastard who wanted to save 15 bucks because of which I bought rear-stall tickets, I repeat, they were really outta tickets as it was like the 2nd or 3rd day after the release. First of all they movie created a big hype before it's release and south indian people are very much attracted to 'super-natural' stuffs and extra ordinary stuffs and technology is very close to their heart. Whenever they see Rajanikanth kickin' bad asses without his feet touching the ground for like 10 minutes they take a bow....lol.
Anyway...so I spent 35 bucks on tickets, another 30 for 3-D glasses, 18 rupees as bus-fare(to n fro) 12 bucks for potato chips(which gave me loosey woosey next day) .. poor me :-(
Me and my friend Manojit paid a visit on the previous friday as we were expecting, like the rest of India movies release on fridays over there as well, but we were proven wrong once we reached the theatre. We asked a security guard about the delay who said as the hall doesnt have the right technological infrastructure to play hi-fi movies like 'Avatar' so they are upgrading the whole thing and they will play it from Monday. We were pretty disappointed as you can understand. Because it took us some time to find the theatre where Avatar was scheduled to play. I remember we were browsing the street walls for the movie poster, and once we found the Avatar poster we jumped onto a guy whom we thought could read Malayalam. The 'jalebi-type' written letters on the poster actually said 'Shree Padmanabhan' where the movie was playing(will be playing). We really went through some hard time in order to locate the hall and once we came to know that they are not actually playing we abused I dont know whom, finally had to pacify ourselves with chilled beer which was available near by at a bar.
On the movie day we had the company of our friend cum coleague cum my room-mate in Chennai Indrajit aka 'the magician' (the name was coined because of the migician-type mustache he possessed, which he got rid of ... or should I say sacrificed due to lot of nagging and pranks by me and Manojit). So 3 of us entered with immense anticipation of Jimmy Cameron recreating the wonders. Actually we know what he has done , what he has created but how much did we get as an audience? During the scenes in jungle the crowd made a lot of noise like different animals including silly 'meeoww sound' which we all did during our History classes back in school, I mean when we were kids.
Indra was experiencing 3-D in a different dimension. During the interval he told us that in the midst of the 1st half once he just took-off his glasses just to see how the screen looks witout the glasses and he saw the audience were trying to hold avatar-tails as they felt they could really touch those. Can you believe it ?
Once the 1st half was over I went out to look for a pack of chips(the ones which gave me bad time next morning...remember?) . The corridor that connects the theatre exits to the cafetaria were crowded with people and they were smoking over there. Well I am a regular smoker but it doest mean I smoke anywhere and everywhere. We were really surprised about the fact that people were smoking but suddenly I thought of becoming a citizen of Italy, I mean I also wanted to have a fag, so I told myself..."Adi....when you are in Rome...do as the Romans do". While enjoying the fag suddenly we heard a roaring cresendo coming from the theatre. We thought the movie has resumed, so we fought our way to the door and guess what we saw as the reason for the cheering, whistles and other praising chanting (which sounded like a roar altogether) !!
On the big screen they were showing some ads and in one of them oops!! no no...in almost all of 'em Mallu supa'sta' Mohanlal was featured. His pics where pasted against mobile-reparing shop's ad, local garment-shop's ad, local beedi's ad n I dont know what all they were showing. I swear while watching the ads(which were mostly hand written or handmade collages) people had their 3D glasses on. Even I saw some dude riding his bike on his way back home after the movie with the 3D galss on.
Well I really feel proud to be a part of the historic moment for Keralites that a 3D movie were playing in their neighborhood for the first time and I also feel proud to experience the movie in 5 D. You must be wondering what 5 D is...well we already have 4D movies, maybe someday 5D technology will be launched where audience will act in movies, where they will make 'meeoww-sounds'(if it's required according to the director of the movie)......
Mr. James Francis Cameron are you listening ? Just wanted to inform that if you make a 5D movie then dont forget that there is a city(?) in India called Thiruvananthapuram aka Trivandrum where people improvized your 3D movie to 5D by their instinct. So dont forget them ever.
"Ya"
"How's the print?"
"It's clear, you wont confuse Rimi's melons with Esha's" with a wicked smile he said to Ronnie.
"No....if the print is not clear then I'll return the CDs"
"C'mon Ronnie, did you ever get a 'bad hall print' from me?"
While going back to Ronnie's place I asked him " Did you really have to borrow a hall-print movie" ?
He said, "C'mon dude, Hall print gives you the right kindda experience. You feel that you are at theatre but you are actually not , it's a diffrent technology all together"
I said " totally...just imagine how much of money we are saving that way, no conveyance, no pop-corn costs, you pay just 15 bucks where in you'd have paid 115 per tickets" sarcastically.
"ya..that's what. you get 'sostay pushti, full sontushti' (which means,total nutrition at a very low cost but with full satisfaction) and the best part is , you dont have follow the dialogues with patience, just laugh when you hear the audience is laughing"
I recall this conversation with Ronnie which took place 5 years back and there is a reason because of which I mentioned the conversation above. Recently I watched 'Avatar' in 3D. Wasnt it wow ? Yeah It was. Someone asked me about the special effect of the movie, I said it should win oscar in 'Visual Effects' category for 3 consecutive years. I believe you all will agree to what I said. But as far as 'effects are concerned' I have more to add. I'm sure most of you have watched Avatar in 3d but did you actually feel that you are in the jungle during the jungle scenes ? I know you did not the way I did 'cuz I watched the movie at a theatre called 'Shree Padmanabhan' at Trivandrum.
Yes my friends this incident is from my days in Trivandrum, the capital of Kerala, where I spent 2 months, where I had to report for my intial stage of training. Well they call it capital but it's nothing more than a town. Shops are closed within 7.30 in the evening, no malls, no chicks( I mean good lookin')no good theatres, no night life, nothing. During week-ends only recreation is Drinking and you abuse your company, your boss, your team-mates, your ex-girlfriend, your ex-girl friend's present boyfriend et al. lol ... yea you kindda have sea beaches at every signal crossing but for how long can you take the beauty of sea-shores ?
Anyway back to the point...... 'ShreePadmanabhan' is one of the 'coolest'(ya jack-ass they have A.C) theatres in Trivandrum aka Thiruvananthapuram. I dont know how much you spent on your movie tickets but for me I wrapped up everythin within 95 rupees.
Jealous ? Ya you should be . Let me give you a break-up of my expenses. 35 bucks for the movie ticket( amazing isnt it?) woh bhi ... AC hall. They were out of balcony tickets so we had to go for RS and the difference is not much, it's like 10-15 bucks. Dont think that I'm a cheap bastard who wanted to save 15 bucks because of which I bought rear-stall tickets, I repeat, they were really outta tickets as it was like the 2nd or 3rd day after the release. First of all they movie created a big hype before it's release and south indian people are very much attracted to 'super-natural' stuffs and extra ordinary stuffs and technology is very close to their heart. Whenever they see Rajanikanth kickin' bad asses without his feet touching the ground for like 10 minutes they take a bow....lol.
Anyway...so I spent 35 bucks on tickets, another 30 for 3-D glasses, 18 rupees as bus-fare(to n fro) 12 bucks for potato chips(which gave me loosey woosey next day) .. poor me :-(
Me and my friend Manojit paid a visit on the previous friday as we were expecting, like the rest of India movies release on fridays over there as well, but we were proven wrong once we reached the theatre. We asked a security guard about the delay who said as the hall doesnt have the right technological infrastructure to play hi-fi movies like 'Avatar' so they are upgrading the whole thing and they will play it from Monday. We were pretty disappointed as you can understand. Because it took us some time to find the theatre where Avatar was scheduled to play. I remember we were browsing the street walls for the movie poster, and once we found the Avatar poster we jumped onto a guy whom we thought could read Malayalam. The 'jalebi-type' written letters on the poster actually said 'Shree Padmanabhan' where the movie was playing(will be playing). We really went through some hard time in order to locate the hall and once we came to know that they are not actually playing we abused I dont know whom, finally had to pacify ourselves with chilled beer which was available near by at a bar.
On the movie day we had the company of our friend cum coleague cum my room-mate in Chennai Indrajit aka 'the magician' (the name was coined because of the migician-type mustache he possessed, which he got rid of ... or should I say sacrificed due to lot of nagging and pranks by me and Manojit). So 3 of us entered with immense anticipation of Jimmy Cameron recreating the wonders. Actually we know what he has done , what he has created but how much did we get as an audience? During the scenes in jungle the crowd made a lot of noise like different animals including silly 'meeoww sound' which we all did during our History classes back in school, I mean when we were kids.
Indra was experiencing 3-D in a different dimension. During the interval he told us that in the midst of the 1st half once he just took-off his glasses just to see how the screen looks witout the glasses and he saw the audience were trying to hold avatar-tails as they felt they could really touch those. Can you believe it ?
Once the 1st half was over I went out to look for a pack of chips(the ones which gave me bad time next morning...remember?) . The corridor that connects the theatre exits to the cafetaria were crowded with people and they were smoking over there. Well I am a regular smoker but it doest mean I smoke anywhere and everywhere. We were really surprised about the fact that people were smoking but suddenly I thought of becoming a citizen of Italy, I mean I also wanted to have a fag, so I told myself..."Adi....when you are in Rome...do as the Romans do". While enjoying the fag suddenly we heard a roaring cresendo coming from the theatre. We thought the movie has resumed, so we fought our way to the door and guess what we saw as the reason for the cheering, whistles and other praising chanting (which sounded like a roar altogether) !!
On the big screen they were showing some ads and in one of them oops!! no no...in almost all of 'em Mallu supa'sta' Mohanlal was featured. His pics where pasted against mobile-reparing shop's ad, local garment-shop's ad, local beedi's ad n I dont know what all they were showing. I swear while watching the ads(which were mostly hand written or handmade collages) people had their 3D glasses on. Even I saw some dude riding his bike on his way back home after the movie with the 3D galss on.
Well I really feel proud to be a part of the historic moment for Keralites that a 3D movie were playing in their neighborhood for the first time and I also feel proud to experience the movie in 5 D. You must be wondering what 5 D is...well we already have 4D movies, maybe someday 5D technology will be launched where audience will act in movies, where they will make 'meeoww-sounds'(if it's required according to the director of the movie)......
Mr. James Francis Cameron are you listening ? Just wanted to inform that if you make a 5D movie then dont forget that there is a city(?) in India called Thiruvananthapuram aka Trivandrum where people improvized your 3D movie to 5D by their instinct. So dont forget them ever.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Sambar Salsa:Charade-parade
Someone asked me about my agenda for the day, I proudly replied "benchwarming and blogging". Actually that has been the routine for 15 of us for the last 4 weeks. We come late, we yawn, we read articles on wikipedia, we search for jokes online, we forward emails and silly excell games and all. But one thing we are very desciplined about is that we take breaks on time. Sometimes we play charades as well. Ya the classic game of breaking the silence of boredom, 'dumb-charades' :-)
They say as I am an animated character I can enact well and as I am a movie-freak, I believe that makes me someone like, male version of Maria Sarapova(isnt she's pretty??) of charades :D
Last time when we played the game, I was given the movie name 'Serendipity'. It sounded like a tough call for a moment. I was plannig how to explain. As usual. all dirty things came to my mind first. So kindda thought of breaking the word like 'SAY-RENDI-PEE-TEA'.
I decided that I'll explain 'SAY' by my lip and hand movements so that they can understand it's a 'talk' word . A funny (and unacceptable action at work place) for the word 'RENDI' which means prostitute/whore in hindi. 'Pee' part would be taken care of by an action as people pee on road in India and 'Tea' would be shown by the 'sipping action'.
Suddenly the guy who gave me the movie name, he though about helping me and said, "I'll give you a clue, break the word like 'SAY-REND-PEE-TEA' ", which was pretty close to what I imagined earlier but the easy part was 'Rend', which means 'two' in Tamil.
So what I had to do is , while explaining 'Rend' I grouped Indrajit, Manojit and Myself (Bongs) and Rajasekharan, Karthick and Ramya(Tamil folks from our group) so I could explain 'Two' in Tamil and the rest were easy and trust me people understood what I wanted to mean. I was relieved 'cuz explaining 'Rendi' at work would have been a hell of a task for me :p
....and since I am a good charade player, I am still managing my stay in Chennai where I am communicating with the localites inspite of knowing 10 words (at tops!!) in Tamil and hope to continue the same. My coleague Karthick is helping me with the number system, I have learnt till 5. Now I can say 'Unh'(one), 'Rend' (you already know what that means), Munh(three), Naal(four), Anjh(Five) . See.... I am already sounding like a guy who could solve mathematical problems in tamil (blushing!!)
But just imagine what would happen to me if I want to nogotiate with a local autowala about auto fare with my knowledge of 'Tamil number system'
Well I have decided.........I will explain 30 as 'Anjh-anjh-anjh-anjh-anjh-anjh' i.e 6 times I'll say Five ;-)....isnt that awesome ? Provided, I am never going to airport by one single auto where the fare would be like 200-250 and I have to negotiate, as autowalas charge more when they are booked for Airports and trust me they have good habit making a wrong assumption that people coming or going to airport are either foreigners or filthy rich.
They say as I am an animated character I can enact well and as I am a movie-freak, I believe that makes me someone like, male version of Maria Sarapova(isnt she's pretty??) of charades :D
Last time when we played the game, I was given the movie name 'Serendipity'. It sounded like a tough call for a moment. I was plannig how to explain. As usual. all dirty things came to my mind first. So kindda thought of breaking the word like 'SAY-RENDI-PEE-TEA'.
I decided that I'll explain 'SAY' by my lip and hand movements so that they can understand it's a 'talk' word . A funny (and unacceptable action at work place) for the word 'RENDI' which means prostitute/whore in hindi. 'Pee' part would be taken care of by an action as people pee on road in India and 'Tea' would be shown by the 'sipping action'.
Suddenly the guy who gave me the movie name, he though about helping me and said, "I'll give you a clue, break the word like 'SAY-REND-PEE-TEA' ", which was pretty close to what I imagined earlier but the easy part was 'Rend', which means 'two' in Tamil.
So what I had to do is , while explaining 'Rend' I grouped Indrajit, Manojit and Myself (Bongs) and Rajasekharan, Karthick and Ramya(Tamil folks from our group) so I could explain 'Two' in Tamil and the rest were easy and trust me people understood what I wanted to mean. I was relieved 'cuz explaining 'Rendi' at work would have been a hell of a task for me :p
....and since I am a good charade player, I am still managing my stay in Chennai where I am communicating with the localites inspite of knowing 10 words (at tops!!) in Tamil and hope to continue the same. My coleague Karthick is helping me with the number system, I have learnt till 5. Now I can say 'Unh'(one), 'Rend' (you already know what that means), Munh(three), Naal(four), Anjh(Five) . See.... I am already sounding like a guy who could solve mathematical problems in tamil (blushing!!)
But just imagine what would happen to me if I want to nogotiate with a local autowala about auto fare with my knowledge of 'Tamil number system'
Well I have decided.........I will explain 30 as 'Anjh-anjh-anjh-anjh-anjh-anjh' i.e 6 times I'll say Five ;-)....isnt that awesome ? Provided, I am never going to airport by one single auto where the fare would be like 200-250 and I have to negotiate, as autowalas charge more when they are booked for Airports and trust me they have good habit making a wrong assumption that people coming or going to airport are either foreigners or filthy rich.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sambar Salsa:Accidental Chords
It was already 9:37 in the morning. Well, I should not blame 'The Hunt For The Red October', the movie which ended at around 1.00 in the morning, for my delay this morning. Yeah! shame on me.....I mean, I reach office everyday around 9:30. If you are an office goer you must think this blogger(me) is a humble guy. Well if you really wanna think so, I wont force you to think otherwise because you can think anything you like and you have full freedom over it but let me disclose that my office starts at 7:30 in the morning. Isnt that 'WOW' !! Might be for you, but not for the lazy ass like me.
Anyway, as I was walking towards my office as I was late(typical) suddenly from the footbridge I heard a screeching sound which came from the opposite direction. Lot of curious heads turned towards the source of the sound immidiately. I got really scared by the sound and my heart started beating faster as I was afraid I might see a dirty accident scene. Slowly I moved close to the railings of the footbridge so that I could take a look.
What I saw is a Swift hit a Bike. The biker was lying on the road. Suddenly I started thinking about a typical scenario which I saw manier times before....like the crowd would gather around the place. There would be a chaos because of the accident. The biker would attack the other driver, the driver would try to prove that the biker was rash driving, some amongst the crowd would take the ownership of giving justice to any of them, depending on the severity of the situation crowd might block the road, which might lead to a strike (at times), then things might just get political, some more damages, fire etc. Even sometimes police come and tries to make a settlement amongst three parties(Police, Driver 1, Driver2) about the damage that has been caused.
I guess that's what usually happens right ?
But Chennai surprised me again. Thank God that none got injured. It was a mild collision. May be the car got a scratch or two. The indicator of the bike got broken. Someone from the crowd yelled "Pathhu poga mattiya" which means "Cant you see when you drive?" The biker stood up, picked up his bike. The car driver came out, helped the bike rider with the bike and may be he said sorry or something and they were on their way.
That's all. No panic, no fight, no chaos NOTHING !!!!
I turned around and said "God bless Sambar", felt soemthing good about the whole thing (dont what exactly) and suddenly realized that I am late so I have to run. Then I imagined myself at a race track, getting ready to run and told myself "Adi.........Read! Steady! Po!!!" (lolz in Tamil Po means Go)
Anyway, as I was walking towards my office as I was late(typical) suddenly from the footbridge I heard a screeching sound which came from the opposite direction. Lot of curious heads turned towards the source of the sound immidiately. I got really scared by the sound and my heart started beating faster as I was afraid I might see a dirty accident scene. Slowly I moved close to the railings of the footbridge so that I could take a look.
What I saw is a Swift hit a Bike. The biker was lying on the road. Suddenly I started thinking about a typical scenario which I saw manier times before....like the crowd would gather around the place. There would be a chaos because of the accident. The biker would attack the other driver, the driver would try to prove that the biker was rash driving, some amongst the crowd would take the ownership of giving justice to any of them, depending on the severity of the situation crowd might block the road, which might lead to a strike (at times), then things might just get political, some more damages, fire etc. Even sometimes police come and tries to make a settlement amongst three parties(Police, Driver 1, Driver2) about the damage that has been caused.
I guess that's what usually happens right ?
But Chennai surprised me again. Thank God that none got injured. It was a mild collision. May be the car got a scratch or two. The indicator of the bike got broken. Someone from the crowd yelled "Pathhu poga mattiya" which means "Cant you see when you drive?" The biker stood up, picked up his bike. The car driver came out, helped the bike rider with the bike and may be he said sorry or something and they were on their way.
That's all. No panic, no fight, no chaos NOTHING !!!!
I turned around and said "God bless Sambar", felt soemthing good about the whole thing (dont what exactly) and suddenly realized that I am late so I have to run. Then I imagined myself at a race track, getting ready to run and told myself "Adi.........Read! Steady! Po!!!" (lolz in Tamil Po means Go)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sambar Salsa : Happy To help
This part of the blog begins where the first post ends....
Well I was on my way back home from the Vodafone store where I saw a girl ....... wait a sec. did I just say 'Home' ? Ohh ... I miss my 'home-sweet-home' in Kolkata-the city of joy, the laid-back city of mine, the phuchka(gol gappe)walas, the intellectuals, the football matches, Sourav Ganguly, Arka Ganguly aka Hatu [my friend] uffff....what not, so many things I miss about my city. They say once you are out of Bengal, you become more Bengali, once you are out of India you become more Indian, lolz now I understand what they meant. These days my ears are too sensative towards any spoken bengali words around me, may be inside the office elevator, may be at the bus-stop, may be at a restaurant. It's not that I engage myself in conversations with all Bengalies in Chennai, but it really feels good when you understand some of the random words which are spoken suddenly out of the blue. "I'm going home" by Chris Daughtry is the song which my portable media player showed as one of the frequently played song lately. So you can understand How much I miss everything about my city KOLKATA.
Anyway....where were we ? yeah....I was coming back from the Vodafone store, where I saw a girl ... who was like....awesome n all....wow....i still remember her face ... damn!! she was hell of a girl.....she was smelling like.....OHHHH SHIIITTTT!! again I am diverting from the topic of this lazy afternoon....
I was saying that...I was coming back home from the Vodafone store in Adayar. I asked a few guys about the shortest route to reach my 'Home' in Peringudi. Some guy gave me a bus # to catch and also pointed towards the bus-stop where 'he thought' the bus would stop. I waited there for almost 20 minutes and trust me in Chennai, that's a loooooong wait. Bus frequency is really amazing and you get different buses to go anywhere within a reasonable time. The way they have managed the communication is simply amazing. Hey Kolkata are you listening ? 'Learn from Chennai' yeah....you heard me right....I said learn this thing from Chennai. Not only this , loads of stuffs are there, adopting which would enrich our city.
So I was kindda getting irritated and after a day's work I was really tired and only thing which was kindda kept me going is the girl whom I met..... ( I promise this time I'm not gonna lose the track of my post)....so I was tired and lost my patience(it was my turn to lose patience hehehe!!!)and asked a gentleman who stopped just to attend a call as he was riding a bike. Unfortunately he was not fluent with english or hindi, so could not help me with the direction but I understood that he understood my question. He was about to start his bike but suddenly he asked me to ride with him. I was like "what? are you sure...I mean...are you serious?" What he communicated was that, "I will either drop you at Peringudi or atleast take you to a place where you can get a bus to reach your place".
Trust me I was in two minds what to do. I never experienced a similar situation before. I mean a stranger offering me help without any reason!! Moreover I am not a smoking hot chick with good numbers or something, I am a guy with a goatee and a weird hair cut, for christ's sake....
It took me a moment to realize, that it was nothing but a 'right intent to help' someone. That's all. I was the mean guy who was in two minds to accept his assistance. 30 minutes back at the Vodafone store I kindda utilized and snatched my share of assistance from the customer service rep and half an hour later I was in dilemma whether to accept a favor or not. That assistance at Vodafone store is something may be we all earn once we subscribe for any freaking service, but this kind of helps are something comes to you and surprises you and make you realize that 'what a mean person you are'. I ask myself why have we become like this ? For free we dont even accept favors. That's sad...isnt it? We gotta do loads of reality-checks in order to find out where we stand.
Anyway, I rode his bike, he dropped me to a place where I could get a bus. Before leaving he shook my hand asked my name, introduced him as 'Shekhar' and also said something in Tamil, which meant 'Happy to help', i guess. While walking the distance from the bus-stop to my place I thought about playing a tribute song on my mobile phone "om shanti , shanti..." a nice tamil song, which one of my coleague transfered via bluetooth, earlier that day. Yes I promise I will learn to play this song with my guitar some day and that would be a tribute all the 'Good-samaritans of Chennai'
Well I was on my way back home from the Vodafone store where I saw a girl ....... wait a sec. did I just say 'Home' ? Ohh ... I miss my 'home-sweet-home' in Kolkata-the city of joy, the laid-back city of mine, the phuchka(gol gappe)walas, the intellectuals, the football matches, Sourav Ganguly, Arka Ganguly aka Hatu [my friend] uffff....what not, so many things I miss about my city. They say once you are out of Bengal, you become more Bengali, once you are out of India you become more Indian, lolz now I understand what they meant. These days my ears are too sensative towards any spoken bengali words around me, may be inside the office elevator, may be at the bus-stop, may be at a restaurant. It's not that I engage myself in conversations with all Bengalies in Chennai, but it really feels good when you understand some of the random words which are spoken suddenly out of the blue. "I'm going home" by Chris Daughtry is the song which my portable media player showed as one of the frequently played song lately. So you can understand How much I miss everything about my city KOLKATA.
Anyway....where were we ? yeah....I was coming back from the Vodafone store, where I saw a girl ... who was like....awesome n all....wow....i still remember her face ... damn!! she was hell of a girl.....she was smelling like.....OHHHH SHIIITTTT!! again I am diverting from the topic of this lazy afternoon....
I was saying that...I was coming back home from the Vodafone store in Adayar. I asked a few guys about the shortest route to reach my 'Home' in Peringudi. Some guy gave me a bus # to catch and also pointed towards the bus-stop where 'he thought' the bus would stop. I waited there for almost 20 minutes and trust me in Chennai, that's a loooooong wait. Bus frequency is really amazing and you get different buses to go anywhere within a reasonable time. The way they have managed the communication is simply amazing. Hey Kolkata are you listening ? 'Learn from Chennai' yeah....you heard me right....I said learn this thing from Chennai. Not only this , loads of stuffs are there, adopting which would enrich our city.
So I was kindda getting irritated and after a day's work I was really tired and only thing which was kindda kept me going is the girl whom I met..... ( I promise this time I'm not gonna lose the track of my post)....so I was tired and lost my patience(it was my turn to lose patience hehehe!!!)and asked a gentleman who stopped just to attend a call as he was riding a bike. Unfortunately he was not fluent with english or hindi, so could not help me with the direction but I understood that he understood my question. He was about to start his bike but suddenly he asked me to ride with him. I was like "what? are you sure...I mean...are you serious?" What he communicated was that, "I will either drop you at Peringudi or atleast take you to a place where you can get a bus to reach your place".
Trust me I was in two minds what to do. I never experienced a similar situation before. I mean a stranger offering me help without any reason!! Moreover I am not a smoking hot chick with good numbers or something, I am a guy with a goatee and a weird hair cut, for christ's sake....
It took me a moment to realize, that it was nothing but a 'right intent to help' someone. That's all. I was the mean guy who was in two minds to accept his assistance. 30 minutes back at the Vodafone store I kindda utilized and snatched my share of assistance from the customer service rep and half an hour later I was in dilemma whether to accept a favor or not. That assistance at Vodafone store is something may be we all earn once we subscribe for any freaking service, but this kind of helps are something comes to you and surprises you and make you realize that 'what a mean person you are'. I ask myself why have we become like this ? For free we dont even accept favors. That's sad...isnt it? We gotta do loads of reality-checks in order to find out where we stand.
Anyway, I rode his bike, he dropped me to a place where I could get a bus. Before leaving he shook my hand asked my name, introduced him as 'Shekhar' and also said something in Tamil, which meant 'Happy to help', i guess. While walking the distance from the bus-stop to my place I thought about playing a tribute song on my mobile phone "om shanti , shanti..." a nice tamil song, which one of my coleague transfered via bluetooth, earlier that day. Yes I promise I will learn to play this song with my guitar some day and that would be a tribute all the 'Good-samaritans of Chennai'
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